【雅思作文批改】5分：过于口语化，注意语法
政府应该对铁路比公路花钱？这位同学整体架构比较完整，但是口语化比较严重，语法错误比较多，基础不够扎实，需多多练习。最终得分4.5-5分，还有很大的进步空间。
作文题目:大作文：剑11Test1大作文
Governmentsshouldspendmoneyonrailwaysratherthanroads.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagreewiththisstatement?
作文内容：
Trafficproblemhasdisturbedgovernmentforalongterm,asalotofmeasure[b1]havebeentakentosolvethat,[b2]therearestillsomeproblemsremained,m[b3]anypeoplesaythatgovernmentshouldspendmoremoneyonrailratherthanroad,buticannot[b4]totallyagreewiththisopinion.
Railway,comparing[b5]withroad,haslargercapacitytoload[b6]goodsorpeople,anditisalsoagoodchoiceforlong-distancetravel.Oneoftheadvantagesofrailisthatyouwillnevermeetatrafficlightorjamonyourwaytothedestiny[b7].Governmenthaveinvest[b8]alottomakeitmoresafe[b9]andconvenient[b10],butsometimesit[b11]stillmakestroubleforpeoplewhenitisat[b12]peaktime;[b13]suchasSpringFestivalinChina,thereareevennotenoughticketsforthosepassengerswhowanttogohomeand[b14]theyhavetostayinthewaitingroomforalongtime.Somorebasicfacilitiesormoretrainsareneededtoservesuchalargenumberofpeopleandincreasethedegreeofcomfortinpassengers[b15]journey.
Onthecontrast,road,asanotherwaythatfrequentlyused,ismoreflexiblethanrailway,b[b16]utthingschangedwhentrafficconditionispoor,ad[b17]peoplenowadaysspendalotoftimeontrafficjamduetotheincreasingnumberofprivatecars,especiallyinthosemajorcities.Inordertofigurethisproblem,governmentshouldinvesttobuildmoreroadslike[b18]overhead-roadstoreleasethetrafficstress,sothattheairquality[b19]incitieswillimprovealot,too.[b20]
Overall,fund[b21]areneededinbothofareas,butitisnotwisetosaythatmoremoneyshouldbeusedinrailorroad,itmustaccording[b22]tothecircumstance.
[b1]measures
[b2]but
[b3]注意断句，Many
[b4]写作中是cannot
[b5]compared
[b6]transfer
[b7]destination
[b8]hasinvested
[b9]safer
[b10]moreconvenient
[b11]指谁？
[b12]改成during
[b13]符号不对
[b14]又是连接谁？
[b15]passengers
[b16]另起一句，大写
[b17]？
[b18]这是口语用词
[b19]和空气质量有关这个逻辑在哪里？
[b20]口语
[b21]funds
[b22]情态动词后用原形
各项细评：
针对问题最大的一点指出问题：
改这篇文章感觉像是改口语段子，因为口语化的说法很多，最大的问题是简单语法错误和复杂语法中句子的断句。句子可以写长，但长句也遵循语法规则，需要连词或者合适的代词。需要系统学习语法。
临考前建议整理一下论点思路，考场发挥尽量不要出大的语法错误就可以了。
附批改原图：
END
https://www.izhinan.cn/article-47416-1.html以上内容就是关于【【雅思作文批改】5分：过于口语化，注意语法 】的指南经验分享；您也可以通过下方的评论互动，发表您的意见和观点，让更多人通过生活指南经验分享因之受益，让生活变得更简单。
